Jessica Simpson captioned this photo “Metaphor,” but she could’ve just called it “Please remember I’m pregnant, too.” She must be feeling like Kim Kardashian stole all of her thunder, which can’t be a comfortable feeling.
New fave quote(via amaderofact)
This ALWAYS cracks me up.
"Well you do know what the French flag looks like right?"
"I don’t speak French!"
"You don’t have to speak a language to see something…"
women belong in the kitchen. men belong in the kitchen. everyone belongs in the kitchen. kitchen has food
I went to dinner last night with one of my best gals. I’ve been out of the house a few times to run errands and see family and the like but I hadn’t been out out, you know, since before I got pregnant. So we were like let’s get food and one adult beverage each because we are both responsible adults and one of us is in charge of a small human and the other one is in charge of an entire department in a hospital plus two cats so let’s just be cool about this.
One beer after not drinking for 10 months and zero sleep will give you the munchies and the giggles. And turn you into a Chatty Cathy. And make you short laugh so that you choke on your red velvet whoppie pie because you’re laughing at your own jokes. Then you start talking shit about a girl wearing stilettos and an ace bandage on her foot and hooker makeup and you make comments about the guy she is all but fucking in the booth across from you is just trying to get some crotch. Loudly. For no reason. All while in maternity clothes. Still.
The end. (Of my tolerance and this story)