Kbelsapaloozah

The Party Don't Start Til I Walk In

124 notes

surisburnbook:

Jessica Simpson captioned this photo “Metaphor,” but she could’ve just called it “Please remember I’m pregnant, too.” She must be feeling like Kim Kardashian stole all of her thunder, which can’t be a comfortable feeling.

surisburnbook:

Jessica Simpson captioned this photo “Metaphor,” but she could’ve just called it “Please remember I’m pregnant, too.” She must be feeling like Kim Kardashian stole all of her thunder, which can’t be a comfortable feeling.

6 notes

I went to dinner last night with one of my best gals. I’ve been out of the house a few times to run errands and see family and the like but I hadn’t been out out, you know, since before I got pregnant. So we were like let’s get food and one adult beverage each because we are both responsible adults and one of us is in charge of a small human and the other one is in charge of an entire department in a hospital plus two cats so let’s just be cool about this.

One beer after not drinking for 10 months and zero sleep will give you the munchies and the giggles. And turn you into a Chatty Cathy. And make you short laugh so that you choke on your red velvet whoppie pie because you’re laughing at your own jokes. Then you start talking shit about a girl wearing stilettos and an ace bandage on her foot and hooker makeup and you make comments about the guy she is all but fucking in the booth across from you is just trying to get some crotch. Loudly. For no reason. All while in maternity clothes. Still.

One. Beer.

One.

The end. (Of my tolerance and this story)

Filed under mommyblogging reformed booze bag whoopie pie