July 2009
I look very 1950s class act hooker today. No I'm...
I'm having one of those days where I wish I still...
For good measure, at least. Oh and to have some sort of excuse to be eating the way that I have been for the past 2 days.
An actual conversation I had with Destiny's Child*
fuiru:
Destiny’s Child: Can you pay my bills?
Me: No. I’m a bit short at the moment.
Destiny’s Chid: Can you pay my telephone bills?
Me: Maybe, depending on your monthly usage.
Destiny’s Child: Can you pay my automobiles?
Me: I don’t understand the question. You want me to cover your monthly payments? Or just the gas? That’s a really odd question. If I didn’t know better I’d think you ran...
All I want to do today is eat my feelings and take...
Going to the Rays/Yankees game tonight. Two teams I would rather see ignite on fire than see IRL, but there are hot dogs at the Trop, and beer, and who am I to turn a chance to gain 15 pounds in 7 innings. Holla.
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost.
Erm, postcards from Hawaii, anyone?
fuiru:
So I’m off to Hawaii to get married next week. As is the style of the time I’m offering to send some postcards off to you, my imaginary chums. Please send me an email at japanese.smoth at gmail dot com with your details and you can add to your Tumblr postcard collection.
I can’t believe it’s almost wedding time for you!!!! Time flies when you’re having “fun”,...
"Grew up way too fast, now there's nothin' to...
(via ewokonline)
In other news….I just spent a good 35 seconds looking for a seat belt when I sat down at my desk. Out of it? Or this shit is lifting off to the moon? You decide.
My Mother The Fan Girl
Mom: So I'm re-watching the MTV movie awards so I can see the sneak preview of the New Moon trailer. Did you see Kristin Stewart's outfit? God RPatz looks so cute!
Me: ...seriously....
Mom: Call you right back look it's on!
(10 minutes later)
Mom: OH. MY. GOD. Did you see Taylor take his shirt off! I can't wait I really can't wait!
Me: Mom! What the hell...
Mom: Alright I'm gunna go watch Twilight a few times before I go to bed to get my fix! This shit is like CRACK!
Me: .......
Oh the weather outside is weather.....
littleorphanammo:
anaisescobar:
...
FIRST, SHOW ME YOUR TITS
(via the-best-on-mars)
tip number 756, buy a woman a drink first, before asking for tits.
And with that, my sweet children, I’m listening to Amos and heading to bed.
Did I ever tell you that I saw Ryan Cabrera in a...
hazelweatherfield:
I was in massachusetts at some mall with my sister. And we were in the pet store and he was in there with his “posse” and he was buying a puppy.
Hate you. Love him.
“And this mother fucker looks like a Keebler Elf!”
you have to respect men who bake cookies in trees, Ashley.
kindafabulous:
Its like lillith fair 96 in my car right now
why is it never like this in my car?
Does anyone have a copy of Tori Amos "Firefly"...
*by stuff I mean beer, hugs, and maybe I’ll show you my boobs weather permitting.
6959.) You are so fucking annoying when you are...
(via blogsecret)
Stop writing blogsecrets about me.
Remember on Thursday (yesterday) when I was all “I’m never drinking again,” and I sat here wanting to rip my eyeballs out with a spoon because I was so effing hungover and I cried a total of 13 times. Yes, I counted. No, I’m not lame. Anway well it’s fucking Friday assholes and I need me a drinky drinkerson on the fly.
pie0:
Run DMC - It’s Tricky
Oh hot damn this is...