Getting this out while I have a brief 20 minutes of good computer
One of my former coworkers put up a video someone took of him break dancing at my wedding. When I said before they’re in EVERY picture, I meant it. Every video, every time I look at something remotely related to my wedding I think about how they screwed me over, and my most warming memories are covered in it.
Anyway, so he put this video on youtube a year ago and just now uploaded it to facebook. I really, REALLY wanted to ask him to take it down. I know in my heart of hearts, I can’t. It’s now public property but the whole thing kills me. Watching him having the time of his life and showing all of his facie friends how much fun he is at a wedding, and there I am hugging my family in the background, on the most special day of my life…not knowing that 5 months later I would have to go into credit card debt because of these people, unable to pay that day off.
Just spent the last 8 hours trying to fix my computer. It’s ok, I think? Who knows.
I didn’t get the job I wanted. Sigh. And I still haven’t heard back from the other one….here we go again, back to the drawing board.
Our anniversary was LAZY but good. We spent the night at my Moms on the island, took a nap instead of the original kayak plans, then went to Maggiano’s for dinner. And I ate all of the food.
Then we came home and ate our anniversary cake top. Which, year old frozen cake isn’t delicious. That goes with out saying, I’m sure.
Going sans bra and bending over is a sure fire way to frighten your neighbor and your mail lady in one quick swoop.
Devon (neighbor) and I got to talking after nipple-gate and we’re 100% sure the house is haunted (which I’ve always suspected). Last night I woke up feeling like someone was watching me and at the same time she could hear a baby crying. There are no babies in the building or surrounding ones. TIME TO CALL TAPS ::shoots fist in air::
Loes and I can't figure out wtf to do for our anniversary
A year ago this weekend we were (well I was) throwing up with the excitement bug, having a dance party at my rehearsal dinner with all the ladies of my family, then sitting around the pool in the dress I ripped (from said dance party) talking to my Grumpy about how, this year, we would all reunite for my 1 year anniversary, stay at the same place, have the best weekend of our lives all over again.
Of course this year has changed in so many horrible, and sometimes beautiful ways. 3 of the people who would even be attending the party are no longer with us. It’s so strange to me how just 365 days can change your entire world.
Like how I was surrounded my friends, my coworkers, loving every single second of my life. How I was looking out over the water giddy with excitement because I had every thing in the world I could ever want. Friends. A job. A beautiful wedding. My happy and healthy family. And now everything is upside down on it’s head.
Don’t get me wrong, if you ask me, this has been by far the most hilarious, adventure filled year of my life. I wouldn’t trade it (unless you were offering us some money, that of which we have none) for anything, I really, truly wouldn’t.
But the thought of going to celebrate at the resort with just the two of us kind of makes me sad a little. I think I’d feel better doing something different, so it’s time to come up with a plan b. Just like the rest of my life.
Completely fell on my ass walking out of interview one.
Which was the most bizarre interview I’ve ever been on.
To which Loes picks me up from said bizarre interview.
I almost peed my pants because he shared his new song “Mighty mighty pedophile he’s a creepin near your school….”
And then we locked ourselves out of the house.
And then we learned you can break into our house with a knife (if you chose to use this information for your serial killer benefit please note we have already fixed it so you CAN’T break in with a butter knife).
Stress makes me really strap into a cart and go full speed on the roller coaster of insane emotions. Loes is off getting me beer because for some reason we both agree I’m at my best when I have a beer and one hand and a cigarette in the other.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I keep repeating that they’re JUST interviews. Just people wanting to have some invasive conversation with me about how fucking awesome I am. And I’m really good at talking about that subject matter as evidence of these here ramblings alone. But my life could change. I could have, gasp, finances again. I could be a contributing member of society.
Every time I hear a weird noise I throw my fist in the air and yell “It’s time to call the TAPS team!”. Even when I’m alone. Then I proceed to laugh myself into an asthma attack because I’m such a god damn asshole.
It’s alright that I’m the person people need to get mad at when, in fact, they are mad at themselves. No seriously. I’m fine with it, because really, whatever makes you feel better, blows your hair back, tickles your testicles, etc.
But honestly, stop and ask yourself before flipping out on someone WHAT is going on in their world. You yelling at them could have been the proverbial straw on back that made them sob for 10 hours straight and lay in bed. Because there’s other stuff going on. In the world. To other people. That DOESN’T involve you. How is that so hard for people to understand? I’m sorry. I’m not saying in my the nicest person on the planet, but I refuse to take my personal shit out on other people. Not even Loes. Because it’s not fair to them. That’s all I’m saying.
And also, I would really, really enjoy to have Carrie Bradshaw’s hair circa Season 6.
I’m onto you, Honor Warren. I think lately she’s been calculating photo-ops to make herself appear aggressively fearless in the press. I mean, taking out a pinata at the ankles while wearing fashionable mid-calf boots? This girl is clearly challenging me.
The cut-off jean shorts are the only signal that she’s not a real adversary … yet. But I’m keeping my eye on you.
1. Picture of yourself? 2. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? 3. Have you ever been dumped? 4. What do you most like about making out? 5. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? 6. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? 7. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? 8. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? 9. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? 11. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? 12. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? 13. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? 14. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? 15. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? 16. Do you miss your last sweetie? 17. Last time you slow danced with someone? 18. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? 19. How can I win your heart? 20. What is your astrological sign? 21. What were you doing last night at 12 AM? 22. Do you cook? 23. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? 24. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? 25. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? 26. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? 27. Name four things that you wish you had: 28. Are you a player? 29. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? 30. Are you a tease? 31. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? 32. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? 33. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? 34. Hugs or Kisses? 35. Are you too shy to ask someone out? 36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? 37. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? 38. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? 39. Do you flirt a lot? 40. Your last kiss? 41. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011? 42. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? 43. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? 44. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? 45. Does someone like you currently? 46. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? 47. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? 48. Ever made out with just a friend? 49. Are you happier single or in a relationship? 50. Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.
I’ll leave this up for a little bit. See if anyone feels like being inquisitive. And because I’ve gotten some new followers recently.