We Are Insane
Me: I'm going to throw up in right in your face tonight
Staci: I'll make sure to open my mouth then
Me: Like I'll baby bird it into your mouth
Kasey: This was ok until we started talking about baby birding....
lakebandit: TAMPA TOMORROW! yesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Snookbells, SWoww, and Kaci-Sweetheart
kacyas: Trifecta in total Effect….a YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (I’m Snookbells)
beaucoupcats replied to your post: I’ve been watching a disturbing amount of MTV… DUDE i had a dream about you last night how did i forget to tell you??!!! we were eating sour cream and onion chips. the regular kind- not ruffles. My internet life partner 4-Eva. Fuck ruffled chips.
I’ve been watching a disturbing amount of MTV lately. Specifically, this Jersey Shore marathon that’s been on today. Tardy to the party I may be but these fuckers are HILARIOUS.
I’d love to be sleeping but I’m acting like a kid on Christmas Eve because I am SO damn excited to see my bitches this weekend and I’m absolutely DREADING cleaning ALL OF THE THINGS tomorrow in preparation and also that diet coke at 9 wasn’t the wisest of all of my choices. But then again when have I ever made a wise choice?
Listen ladies, this Rhodes Scholar is MINE.
Loes: What did you say? That word? Me: Her name? Idina Menzel. Loes: WHAT IS THAT WORD? Me: Her name. Loes: It’s not Taye Diggs wife? Me: Uh, no it’s Idina Menzel. Loes: I CAN’T PRONOUNCE THAT!
If you turn on Bravo right now you can see my TV debut. Again. WHY DO THEY KEEP PLAYING THIS???
I think it’s important to point out that Paris Hilton is currently in a meeting planning her 13th fragrance and I can’t even get a fucking interview anywhere. Hand I’ve been dealt? Can I trade it in for a new one?
thedailywhat: Emotional Kid Is Emotional of the Day: Hey, kid — there’s no crying in baseball. OK, just this once. You know what? Don’t mind if I join you. Let’s all just have a big cry and get it out of our system. There. Now back to keeping everything bottled up inside like adults. [mlb / barstool.]
Hodgepodge of Thoughts
-I think someone is stealing my mail. No seriously. I’ve been waiting for shit for like, ever, and nothing is arriving. -Which leads me to believe I have a stalker and I can just see some creep in my bushes watching my every move and whispering “soon” into my T-Mobile bill. -“I’m so hungry. Seriously just run out of your office. The others will follow they’ll...
Ghetto Ass Bitch!
Sila: On another note you should just come. I know you hate country music but it will be fun! Lawn seats are cheap and if we run into them it won't be like as weird.
Me: I'm down but like, those bitches come near us I'm fighting them. No, I'm not joking. I will straight rip her weave out her head.
My husband just asked me how/why I know all of the words to the All That theme song. Good thing there’s signs all over Tampa for $99 divorces because clearly this man does not know my life.
If you plan on staying/crashing here this weekend (THIS WEEKEND OMG ITS ALMOST HERE) we have SOME blankets and pillows but extras would always be welcome in case we don’t have enough! Also, we still haven’t gotten our package from Tumblr yet (hopefully it gets here on time) but fear not! Michelle said she has a sticker machine so we should be able to identify one another (even though...
Unrelated/Somewhat Related To My Last Post
Where can I get just a small, cursive script tattoo somewhere in Tampa that won’t cost me a body part?
Loes took the day off of work so we’ve been picking up/cleaning/getting life in order in preparation for the arrival of my bitches this weekend. This past weekend was absolutely EPIC (Hi, Matthew Morrison, Joey Macintyre standing next to our car, just, standing there, Backstreet Boys, New Kids, Boys II men, then fam pictures and hanging with our pals) but I have a feeling this upcoming one...
-periodic-meltdowns- replied to your post: I just woke up from my third nap today. Not saying… i saw you on tv today. those hunk owners looked liked not nice people. Sigh…they weren’t. Which show was it?
I just woke up from my third nap today. Not saying this wasn’t one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time, but this is just further proof that I’m too old to be doing anything on the weekends other than brunches, yard sales, and farmers markets.
samthrax asked: after hearing just now who the special guest is for your show, I'm WAY jealous! have an awesome time and dance your heart out. :)
“Ok…I wear Yoga pants because I’m too lazy for real pants”- Some commercial that just came on to which my husband turns to me and says…”Oh look, it’s you”.
scarygodmother asked: WHUT. You're going to the NKOTBSB show in Orlando? SO JEALOUS. I saw the sign on the arena and seriously considered it. Sing along and dance in the aisle like a 10 year-old at her first concert for me!
And side note: I really like when I “thumbs down” a song on Pandora and they’re like Oh God sorry! We’re changing that now and we won’t ever play that song on here again! I like to sit back and be like, yea, you bet your ASS you won’t. I feel so powerful and junk.
“I went to a foam party and a costume party, but like, I didn’t dress up or anything, unless I mean I went as a hooker or something. Anyway, look at this picture of Kyla throwing up! Do you like my blue toenails? She gained the freshman fifteen and we haven’t even STARTED school yet. Who am I kidding? More like 40. Look at this boy he is SO cute! God, I hope I don’t turn...
I can’t apply for your stupid job because I have “no experience ” and I have no experience because all of the stupid jobs require said experience. Also, 7.25 an hour for something I’ve been doing for over ten years is an amazing reason for me to write a strong worded email to you repeating the word “insulting” over and over. Hey how fun is PMSing Kelly? Talk...
It freaks me out when job posts are like, “List Salary Requirements”. Alright, then, I’ll do your executive assisting but for the low price of eight billion dollars a year. That work for you? Like no seriously what’s the best way of going about that?
breaking news Tampa tumblrs....
postscriptme: We are finally getting an H&M in international mall. My wallet just gasped. http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/retail/article1181644.ece THIS IS THE GREATEST NEWS I’VE HEARD ALL WEEK. Are they hiring? DISCOUNTS!
RSVP To The Tampa Meetup
http://www.tumblr.com/meetup/5947 I need numbers people!
I really wish the girls from my town would stop going to the Tan Man. You people look like beef jerky! That shit ain’t cute! Stop! Frick!
Making another bevvy and working on that idiotic thing I refer to as “my book”. WHATEVER I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.
I think I’ve asked this before but does anyone know how/where I can get a copy of Microsoft Word for, oh, I don’t know….free? Free-ish?
onefootinthegrave replied to your post: I’m going to go hang out with my other unemployed… fuck a job. I’m about to go to the liquor store to get margaritas. Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
I’m going to go hang out with my other unemployed friends so we can pretend like we have lives while we sit around and talk about how we definitely don’t have lives. Also, that end of the world dream I had last night? Unnecessary, brain.
Things I've learned from this episode of The...
I would not trust any of them with my health Earrings are bad. SO bad that at some point these “doctors” will RIP YOUR EARLOBE AND SEW IT BACK TOGETHER ON TV. Lunch- wasn’t an option today due to lack of appetite Make up is OK but probably really bad but everyone is wearing it including she who says it is probably bad Is this why housewives are insane? Will I be one of...